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Parental Loss and Grief Support and President-Elect Barack Obama

November 6th, 2008

Like President-Elect Obama, many of us face personal parental and grandparent loss as our incredibly busy lives swirl around us and life expects us to move on. I can’t imagine what it was like for Obama to lose his grandmother the day after winning the Presidential election. As a griever, Obama will walk through his grief in both private and public ways. I am sure he will have all the best grief counselors and advisors at his disposal but what books would I recommend to assist him with his journey through grief? I believe the best would be 1) Healing After Loss (a small mediation book) by Martha Hickman; 2) This Thing Called Grief: New Understandings Of Loss by Tom Ellis, 3) and for the upcoming holidays…Healing Your holiday Grief: 100 Practical Ideas for Blending Mourning and Celebration during the Holiday Season by Alan Wolfelt for their ease of reading and usefulness. Please add your ideas of excellent grief resources for Obama during his journey after loss…

Caregiver Support for Parents With New Cancer Diagnosis

November 3rd, 2008

I wish I’d known about The Health Resource when my father was first diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. This is a professional medical information research organization that puts together for you a completely researched overview of your cancer or non-cancer medical diagnosis based on stage and provides traditional and alternative therapies for treatment. They can also save you time by providing you lists of the top specialists and their contact information for your type of disease. The Health Resource has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Money Magazine, Ladies Home Journal, Reader’s Digest, Family Circle Magazine and Forbes Magazine.

Parental Loss and Caregiver Support issues recognized in recent awards

October 22nd, 2008

I am very excited to tell you that Mom Minus Dad has recently received two awards from the publishing an writing community. The book won the 2008 Honorable Mention for Non-Fiction in the Writer’s Digest Magazine’s 16th Annual International Self-Published Book Awards (and will be featured in the March/April 2008 issue) and was a Finalist in the Parenting/Family category for the 2008 Indie Book Awards. I am thrilled at others are noticing the importance of the issue of supporting adult children with newly widowed parents. Thank you all for your continued support.

How to Hire a Personal Chef to Assist Families with Healthy Meals After Parental Loss

October 13th, 2008

When we face difficult parental loss, many people don’t feel like eating. This typical loss of appetite grievers develop can breed unhealthy consequences. If this is something your family faces, read about how hiring a personal chef to assist your widowed parent or your family can help out the first weeks or months after loss.

Below, Tom Steiber, CEO of Big City Chefs, answers my questions regarding hiring Big City Chefs to assist families utilize personal chefs to prepare meals after loss:

Q: Tom, I understand that a recent friend of an employee of Big City Chefs who was newly widowed used your services to help her after the loss of her spouse. Explain why she decided to use Big City Chefs to reduce her food/cooking tasks.
 
A: After a loss, some people find day-to-day tasks very daunting, which exacerbates the stress of the loss.  As a result, many grieving people will neglect their eating habits, which is not healthy.  Having a chef come into the home once a week or every two weeks to cook a batch of meals not only gave that friend some much needed rest, but it also restored her physical and emotional health to give her the strength she needed to cope with her loss.
 
Q: Tom, If an adult child of a newly widowed parent wants to arrange for a personal chef to prepare meals for their parent who may live across the country, what is the process?
 
A: It’s really quite easy.  In a pinch, the person making the arrangement could simply visit our website at www.bigcitychefs.com to order a package for a set number of meals as a gift, which can be purchased on our website anytime.  This would be sent in the form of a gift certificate that the grieving parent could redeem by then calling our office at 1-866-321-CHEF, at which time we set up a consultation with a chef.  If the adult child would like more involvement in the process, calling us to discuss the parent’s needs in greater detail can be done up front so that the parent doesn’t have to handle those matters. 
 
Q:  Tom, What kind of cooking training do your chefs have?
 
A: As a general rule, our chefs are professionally trained graduates of top culinary schools with several years of high volume, high pressure, high-end, fine dining restaurant cuisine.  Once they’ve handled the toughest educational and restaurant situations, they can easily take care of our clients and cover a broad range of individualized needs.  
 
Q: Tom, How do you make sure your chefs are safe to go into people’s homes? What is your screening process? Are you bonded and insured?
 
A very important personal quality that our chefs must have is a high level of trustworthiness, kindness, and effective communication, since they deal so closely with clients.  We take chefs through a rigorous screening process that includes personal interviews, creating menus for mock clients, verifying employment and personal references, and conducting criminal background checks.  We would rather work very closely with small teams of chefs than very loosely with a large network, as this helps create a very consistent customer experience.  And yes, we carry commercial liability insurance with Lloyd’s of London to protect our clients from foodborne illnesses or damage to their premises.
 
Q: Tom, Can a client request all organic or all local food to be used by the chef?
 
A: Absolutely.  We provide a totally personalized experience for the customer, and many customers do choose local, sustainable, and organic product.  In some communities, this might come from local farms or farmer’s markets, while in others, it may come from natural grocers in their neighborhoods.  We can accommodate any requests and can customize a package and price to meet almost any need. 
 
Q: Tom, Can you tell us the price ranges for two weeks of personally cooked food by your chefs by different locations across the country? (i.e. Pacific Coastal states $X-$X), Midwest($X-$X), Southern($X-$X), New England($X-$X)?)
 
We like to provide customers with a package price that includes all groceries and labor.  As a general rule, our pricing is fairly similar across the country, although it is slightly more expensive in the New York City metro area.  Ten nights of dinner entrees, including the cost of food, start at $400 for 2 people and $750 for 4 people, or 20 and 40 large dinner entrees and side dishes, respectively.  Pricing for highly customized packages can vary a bit depending on the type of ingredients used.  In New York, we would typically add about $50-75 to either package.
 
Thanks Tom!

Cancer Diagnosis for an Aging Parent: Where to Start

August 26th, 2008

When you find out your aging parent has cancer, there is so much to do and figure out. When my dad was initially diagnosed, we had to decide on his doctor, hospital and treatment plan within a week. I recently came across this book called America’s Top Doctors for Cancer that looks like a pretty good resource for families in a similiar situation. Read the rest of this entry »

Death of a Parent: A new book says it can be a blessing in some cases

August 19th, 2008

Here is a review from Publisher’s Weekly magazine about a new book about the effects of a parent’s death on adult children when the parent was dysfunctional-

Book: Death Benefits: How Losing a Parent Can Change an Adult’s Life- For the Better

Preparation for Aging and Death Doesn’t Have to Be Extreme: The Korea “Well-dying” craze

July 22nd, 2008

Denial of death can be a huge barrier to preparing ahead for loss. I hear from many adult sons and daughters that their Baby Boomer parents “don’t want to talk about it”. They ask me “How do I bring up these issues that are in your book with my parents while they are well and in good health so we can prepare ahead of time? Everyone gets very uncomfortable”. I agree. It’s not easy, but I can tell you from personal experience it’s much more painful if a plan including-paperwork/wills, established advisors for various issues, and discussion of “what if” scenarios-are not in place or discussed. No one wants to think about dying, but if family members don’t- the surviving family members will have to face the unanswered questions without the loved one’s input or advice.

Today’s Financial Times newspaper listed a story that caught my eye called “When Death is a Reminder to Live”. Read the rest of this entry »

Aging Parents: How to Support Your Parent While They Care for Their Aging Parent

July 7th, 2008

I often get asked a variation of the following question so I wanted to post the question and list some suggestions since the situation seems to be a growing issue:

“My mom is really stressed about my grandma in her nineties who is in a rehabilitation center. Over the past month she has begun to deteriorate tremendously. She has no pain but she is super weak and can’t live on her own. I feel bad for my mom but I don’t know what to say since she calls me almost everyday with the same news my grandma just keeps getting weaker. Besides being an only child, my dad isn’t very supportive so she tells me everything. I wish she could join a support group for children of aging parents or something. Any other advice?”- thanks, Jane, a 30-something female Read the rest of this entry »

Singledad.com: New Web site launch

June 24th, 2008

A new Web site just launched to assist divorced, widowed, remarried and single men with children. Here’s the news release From Business Wire:

“SAN DIEGO–(BUSINESS WIRE)–Local entrepreneur and single father Richard “RJ” Jaramillo today announced the launch of SingleDad.com, the first comprehensive online resource and social network developed for single dads. Created to address the needs of a growing number of men raising families, the new site provides an array of services, advice and referrals, plus an interactive social network to connect single dads nationwide. The site celebrated its launch on Father’s Day, June 15.

Founded in 2007 by the single father of three, SingleDad.com is a free web site dedicated to helping single dads navigate through the challenges of single parenting by providing the highest quality resources to support the family’s continued health, wealth and general well-being. The site’s content is geared toward divorced, widowed, remarried and single men with children.

“When I first became a single father nearly a decade ago, there was parenting information available, but it didn’t address the unique needs of single dads,” Jaramillo said. “Even today there is a limited amount of resources geared specifically toward meeting their needs. More fathers are raising families on their own and SingleDad.com can help them manage the everyday challenges they encounter.”

No other site includes both the resources and social networking capacity that SingleDad does. Members can post comments and How-To’s online (for both dad and family), and search and post events in the area. The site’s articles cover a variety of topics written by Jaramillo, SingleDad.com staff and outside experts. SingleDad.com’s interactive social network adds a personal touch that enables members to build their network, post their own hosted meet-ups (scheduled connections with other dads in the area), and trade helpful tips and advice with other great dads across the country.

About SingleDad.com

SingleDad.com is the first comprehensive online resource developed for single dads. Created in 2007 by entrepreneur and single father of three, Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, the site offers an extensive array of valuable services, advice and referrals to help single dads navigate through the daily challenges of single parenting by providing the highest quality resources and timely information to support the family’s continued health, wealth and general well-being. SingleDad.com is more than just a portal; it’s an interactive, social network that instantly connects single dads nationwide. For more information please visit our site at www.singledad.com.”

Hiring Assistance for Your Newly Widowed Parent: Organizers, Assistants and Bookkeepers

June 23rd, 2008

Three of the big issues families can face after the loss of a parent are dealing with estate and household paperwork, bills, and finances.  Before your parent hires an outsider to help them manage paperwork or financial jobs they either don’t want to do or don’t know how to do, consider these three questions:
Read the rest of this entry »

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